Texts From Last Night · 2oe's Favorites

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2oe's Favorites Texts:

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(520): View more from Arizona

Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.

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(660): View more from Missouri

You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.

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(269): View more from Michigan

1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.

(269): View more from Michigan

7) Noodle arms: engage

(269): View more from Michigan

The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.

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(231): View more from Michigan

Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.

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(516): View more from New York

You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito

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(248): View more from Michigan

Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.

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(496): View more from

I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically

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