Texts From Last Night · aaron231's Favorites

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aaron231's Favorites Texts:

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(314): View more from Missouri

A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.

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(289): View more from Ontario

Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!

(1-910): View more from North Carolina

No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!

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(623): View more from Arizona

Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.

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(925): View more from California

We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.

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(970): View more from Colorado

he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.

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(620): View more from Kansas

We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience

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