Texts From Last Night · goat1377's Favorites

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goat1377's Favorites Texts:

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(319): View more from Iowa

I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.

Fav 10 1096 693
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(614): View more from Ohio

your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night

Fav 6 1118 640
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(218): View more from Minnesota

Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face

(763): View more from Minnesota

How can a condom be "half used"?

Fav 13 1715 951
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(512): View more from Texas

The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning

Fav 5 1750 768
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.

Fav 3 1097 605
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(307): View more from Wyoming

I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.

Fav 6 1303 817
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(318): View more from Louisiana

At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?

Fav 7 2707 911
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(817): View more from Texas

I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?

Fav 15 3248 881
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