Texts From Last Night · jord4nthewalrus's Favorites

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jord4nthewalrus's Favorites Texts:

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(604): View more from British Columbia

That was an excessively violent trivia night

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(251): View more from Alabama

How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?

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(708): View more from Illinois

just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..

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(641): View more from Iowa

you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs

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(906): View more from Michigan

I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner

(503): View more from Oregon

Soooo, coming over soon?

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(562): View more from California

Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser

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(480): View more from Arizona

She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...

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