Texts From Last Night · kellsooooo's Favorites

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kellsooooo's Favorites Texts:

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(850): View more from Florida

I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts

Fav 34 1147 4288
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(512): View more from Texas

the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.

Fav 18 2256 977
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(226): View more from Ontario

forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.

Fav 15 8246 1440
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(815): View more from Illinois

shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug

Fav 3 1002 3213
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(864): View more from South Carolina

I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.

Fav 11 7925 1587
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(925): View more from California

Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.

Fav 19 6819 1502
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(602): View more from Arizona

I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf

Fav 44 15607 1981
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