Texts From Last Night · moohaffey's Favorites

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moohaffey's Favorites Texts:

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(256): View more from Alabama

You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.

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(807): View more from Ontario

I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.

Fav 23 5562 1557
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(770): View more from Georgia

my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad

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(501): View more from Arkansas

Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.

Fav 19 3283 6282
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(602): View more from Arizona

Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...

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(224): View more from Illinois

so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.

Fav 33 13419 2006
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