Texts From Last Night · murrseph's Favorites

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murrseph's Favorites Texts:

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(440): View more from Ohio

You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies

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(815): View more from Illinois

I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.

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(312): View more from Illinois

My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am

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(561): View more from Florida

I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something

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(206): View more from Washington

I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW

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(952): View more from Minnesota

why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay

(763): View more from Minnesota

He was that good?

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(636): View more from Missouri

I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.

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