Texts From Last Night · sammiscream's Favorites

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sammiscream's Favorites Texts:

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(563): View more from Iowa

Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant

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(251): View more from Alabama

I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....

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(406): View more from Montana

I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.

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(786): View more from Florida

I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"

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(516): View more from New York

I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.

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(714): View more from California

Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?

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