Texts From Last Night · siara117's Favorites

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siara117's Favorites Texts:

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(503): View more from Oregon

I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours

Fav 4 895 1397
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.

Fav 2 1349 693
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.

Fav 10 2898 967
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(+61): View more from Australia

You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.

Fav 5 1830 869
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(512): View more from Texas

I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted

Fav 4 1199 664
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(919): View more from North Carolina

I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"

Fav 6 4156 1069
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(714): View more from California

Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.

Fav 17 4870 1162
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(503): View more from Oregon

Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.

Fav 7 924 1906
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