Texts From Last Night · tess1987's Favorites

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry USPF2014 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

tess1987's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

ADVERTISEMENT

(718): View more from New York

Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.

Fav 14 3104 1059
share tweet
(713): View more from Texas

The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.

Fav 3 890 707
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(913): View more from Kansas

He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.

Fav 3 979 1792
share tweet
(530): View more from California

He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.

Fav 2 1687 710
share tweet
(+64): View more from New Zealand

Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.

Fav 8 1335 820
share tweet
(732): View more from New Jersey

I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.

Fav 14 2628 908
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(202): View more from Washington, DC

Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.

Fav 4 773 1895
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(714): View more from California

My liver just had a heart attack.

Fav 9 1476 877
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT