My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
