I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Drunk is not a location!
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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