The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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