I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
