Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize