I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
