I'm lost and stupid without you.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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