had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
