If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
