Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
