White coat. Heels.
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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