I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
