Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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