she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
