marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
