Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
