She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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