Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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