I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
