How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
