i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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