think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
