think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
