do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
