I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
