i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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