You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
