i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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