I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
