people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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