Texts From Last Night · FruitSalad4225's Favorites

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FruitSalad4225's Favorites Texts:

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night

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(425): View more from Washington

My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer

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(301): View more from Maryland

Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.

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(810): View more from Michigan

I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.

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(404): View more from Georgia

Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.

(1-404): View more from Georgia

Two?

(404): View more from Georgia

Two.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.

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(309): View more from Illinois

Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.

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(224): View more from Illinois

My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.

(312): View more from Illinois

Elaborate

(224): View more from Illinois

Strip Mario-Kart

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