Texts From Last Night · LRae83's Favorites

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LRae83's Favorites Texts:

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(540): View more from Virginia

Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.

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(214): View more from Texas

She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca

Fav 19 1753 7373
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(806): View more from Texas

Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.

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(540): View more from Virginia

my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.

Fav 27 16989 1528
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(614): View more from Ohio

so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'

(740): View more from Ohio

i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.

Fav 83 35243 2057
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(480): View more from Arizona

YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST

(602): View more from Arizona

I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!

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(830): View more from Texas

Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.

Fav 15 1651 4085
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(519): View more from Ontario

I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.

Fav 12 4914 1961
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