Texts From Last Night · dougmcdonald's Favorites

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dougmcdonald's Favorites Texts:

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(859): View more from Kentucky

in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"

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(601): View more from Mississippi

You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.

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(705): View more from Ontario

Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.

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(254): View more from Texas

There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator

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(859): View more from Kentucky

she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?

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(541): View more from Oregon

i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.

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(404): View more from Georgia

He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.

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(815): View more from Illinois

My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.

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