Texts From Last Night · sailor_man's Favorites

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sailor_man's Favorites Texts:

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM

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(912): View more from Georgia

He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.

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(410): View more from Maryland

She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!

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(209): View more from California

I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend

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(406): View more from Montana

I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.

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(714): View more from California

sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!

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