Texts From Last Night · barker_18's Favorites

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barker_18's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

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(415): View more from California

sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.

Fav 24 5465 1575
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(817): View more from Texas

He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round

Fav 18 8621 1351
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(870): View more from Arkansas

So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button

Fav 50 9975 3496
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(812): View more from Indiana

gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar

(219): View more from Indiana

I need you to use more vowels.

Fav 15 8717 1478
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.

Fav 5 2605 1132
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(281): View more from Texas

seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout

Fav 6 2775 1596
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(804): View more from Virginia

we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.

Fav 12 6501 1095
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(402): View more from Nebraska

I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.

Fav 12 5515 1495
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