Texts From Last Night · itskelseys99's Favorites

itskelseys99's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

(406): View more from Montana

But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers

Fav 2 305 113
share tweet
(480): View more from Arizona

All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?

Fav 3 361 126
share tweet

(763): View more from Minnesota

No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.

Fav 2 242 192
share tweet
(727): View more from Florida

I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?

Fav 2 410 169
share tweet
(908): View more from New Jersey

Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors

Fav 1 236 171
share tweet
(443): View more from Maryland

I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance

Fav 2 336 105
share tweet

(716): View more from New York

He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.

Fav 1 200 209
share tweet

(206): View more from Washington

That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.

Fav 4 1161 574
share tweet
(208): View more from Idaho

Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.

Fav 7 1319 887
share tweet
(518): View more from New York

my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...

Fav 79 2659 29227
share tweet
(505): View more from New Mexico

all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me

Fav 0 241 188
share tweet

(203): View more from Connecticut

Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"

Fav 0 317 166
share tweet

(310): View more from California

I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to

Fav 3 371 272
share tweet
(919): View more from North Carolina

sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down

Fav 0 448 168
share tweet

(+44): View more from United Kingdom

he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard

Fav 1 491 181
share tweet
(908): View more from New Jersey

Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.

Fav 0 572 183
share tweet
(303): View more from Colorado

anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?

Fav 0 274 245
share tweet
(513): View more from Ohio

Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs

Fav 2 244 313
share tweet
(814): View more from Pennsylvania

you never un-have a 4some

Fav 3 457 204
share tweet
(917): View more from New York City

I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals

Fav 3 414 216
share tweet
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT

Fav 1 626 194
share tweet
(613): View more from Ontario

I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?

Fav 3 377 229
share tweet
(630): View more from Illinois

We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.

Fav 3 381 211
share tweet
(908): View more from New Jersey

Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure

Fav 1 352 194
share tweet
(256): View more from Alabama

Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.

Fav 4 426 268
share tweet
(972): View more from Texas

There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.

Fav 2 276 261
share tweet
(423): View more from Tennessee

An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.

Fav 2 289 188
share tweet
(678): View more from Georgia

He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.

Fav 0 930 438
share tweet
(804): View more from Virginia

Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis

Fav 0 739 457
share tweet
(224): View more from Illinois

I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA

Fav 2 592 518
share tweet
(620): View more from Kansas

Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron

Fav 3 744 498
share tweet
(413): View more from Massachusetts

omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there

Fav 0 775 527
share tweet
(254): View more from Texas

I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.

Fav 1 981 539
share tweet
(217): View more from Illinois

Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?

Fav 0 966 516
share tweet
(512): View more from Texas

It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.

Fav 1 1100 569
share tweet
(202): View more from Washington, DC

How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?

(1-202): View more from Washington, DC

All. The answer is always all

Fav 3 1003 547
share tweet
(516): View more from New York

She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.

Fav 1 1080 561
share tweet
(202): View more from Washington, DC

As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.

Fav 22 2375 666
share tweet
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?

Fav 1 809 433
share tweet
(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy

Fav 2 815 510
share tweet
(562): View more from California

I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.

Fav 0 831 470
share tweet
(949): View more from California

Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.

Fav 0 740 562
share tweet
(304): View more from West Virginia

Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?

Fav 7 1088 480
share tweet
(248): View more from Michigan

and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs

Fav 4 922 498
share tweet
(615): View more from Tennessee

I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.

(865): View more from Tennessee

Spopky scrzy skeletonssz

Fav 5 1055 655
share tweet
(256): View more from Alabama

I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.

Fav 0 707 500
share tweet
(712): View more from Iowa

I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it

Fav 1 685 583
share tweet
(612): View more from Minnesota

Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.

Fav 5 1137 542
share tweet
(512): View more from Texas

He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.

Fav 1 1229 544
share tweet
(203): View more from Connecticut

Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth

Fav 3 709 590
share tweet
(413): View more from Massachusetts

The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego

Fav 0 666 473
share tweet
(301): View more from Maryland

Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy

Fav 2 603 663
share tweet
(615): View more from Tennessee

I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest

Fav 3 1043 521
share tweet
(207): View more from Maine

All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?

Fav 4 1101 553
share tweet
(416): View more from Toronto

I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin

Fav 12 4942 1297
share tweet
(425): View more from Washington

i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.

Fav 1 1272 1285
share tweet
(325): View more from Texas

wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"

Fav 100 8303 61690
share tweet
(212): View more from New York

i want you now

(916): View more from California

you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this

Fav 148 8159 70873
share tweet
(404): View more from Georgia

Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.

(1-404): View more from Georgia

Two?

(404): View more from Georgia

Two.

Fav 264 5195 80175
share tweet
(609): View more from New Jersey

I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...

(1-609): View more from New Jersey

and?

(609): View more from New Jersey

RIP clitoris

Fav 599 6019 103453
share tweet
(314): View more from Missouri

So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.

Fav 800 8589 112711
share tweet
(607): View more from New York

Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.

Fav 29 34807 1713
share tweet
(831): View more from California

theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it

Fav 216 35066 2917
share tweet
(519): View more from Ontario

i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?

Fav 101 35341 4426
share tweet
(386): View more from Florida

after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.

Fav 60 37316 1624
share tweet
(214): View more from Texas

dude. I'm so drunk.

(972): View more from Texas

pete, this is bryce's mom

(214): View more from Texas

I can't wait to have my cock in your ass

(972): View more from Texas

pete, this is still bryce's mom

Fav 180 38253 5877
share tweet
(718): View more from New York

bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch

(917): View more from New York City

I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation

Fav 41 39278 2239
share tweet
(734): View more from Michigan

I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.

Fav 118 39403 1935
share tweet
(775): View more from Nevada

before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.

Fav 69 39786 2522
share tweet
(970): View more from Colorado

I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.

(303): View more from Colorado

Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.

Fav 111 40361 3924
share tweet
(713): View more from Texas

I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.

(512): View more from Texas

babe, don't say it like that!

(713): View more from Texas

I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.

Fav 140 40094 2214
share tweet
(215): View more from Pennsylvania

The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.

Fav 86 41318 2575
share tweet
(570): View more from Pennsylvania

why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?

(1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911

Fav 109 41377 2661
share tweet
(913): View more from Kansas

Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.

(1-913): View more from Kansas

You're the best girlfriend ever.

Fav 145 41237 2023
share tweet
(512): View more from Texas

i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.

Fav 205 41514 3926
share tweet
(508): View more from Massachusetts

awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?

(1-508): View more from Massachusetts

you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.

Fav 98 42076 2246
share tweet
(215): View more from Pennsylvania

My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."

Fav 124 42103 3339
share tweet
(347): View more from New York

in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him

Fav 134 45577 2413
share tweet
(802): View more from Vermont

We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.

Fav 2 715 570
share tweet
(703): View more from Virginia

This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls

Fav 2 740 492
share tweet
(602): View more from Arizona

You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any

Fav 2 918 494
share tweet
(317): View more from Indiana

Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity

Fav 0 583 473
share tweet
(908): View more from New Jersey

I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.

Fav 3 849 518
share tweet
(517): View more from Michigan

I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.

Fav 3 712 487
share tweet
(404): View more from Georgia

i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".

Fav 388 41770 4645
share tweet
(201): View more from New Jersey

I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet

(908): View more from New Jersey

I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building

(201): View more from New Jersey

Tie

Fav 97 45278 2186
share tweet
(410): View more from Maryland

Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!

Fav 349 45452 5484
share tweet
(410): View more from Maryland

can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd

(443): View more from Maryland

wasted?

(410): View more from Maryland

im pocohantasssss

Fav 109 45412 2757
share tweet
(843): View more from South Carolina

the red head has a bf

(1-843): View more from South Carolina

just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score

Fav 118 46239 4278
share tweet
(713): View more from Texas

she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?

Fav 125 48818 2421
share tweet
(440): View more from Ohio

The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"

Fav 48 49304 2810
share tweet
(847): View more from Illinois

so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".

Fav 87 53640 3889
share tweet
(443): View more from Maryland

I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart

Fav 182 53563 2639
share tweet
(352): View more from Florida

i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE

Fav 185 53787 3102
share tweet
(330): View more from Ohio

First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down

Fav 207 53709 3599
share tweet
(516): View more from New York

im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test

Fav 79 54004 2792
share tweet
(617): View more from Massachusetts

just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole

Fav 436 57258 7320
share tweet
(563): View more from Iowa

Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade

Fav 63 59906 1926
share tweet
(315): View more from New York

i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love

Fav 131 63486 2872
share tweet
(812): View more from Indiana

My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow

Fav 236 67227 3282
share tweet
(813): View more from Florida

I'm fucking your sister right now.

(1-813): View more from Florida

You motherfucker

(813): View more from Florida

She's next.

Fav 154 67660 4391
share tweet
(401): View more from Rhode Island

Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'

Fav 249 68661 3916
share tweet
(915): View more from Texas

I told you I was good to drive

(1-915): View more from Texas

dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate

Fav 54 75095 3009
share tweet
(541): View more from Oregon

my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests

Fav 202 82798 5240
share tweet
(847): View more from Illinois

I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.

(1-847): View more from Illinois

How was it?

(847): View more from Illinois

Fantastic, but that's not the point.

Fav 206 89714 8271
share tweet
(919): View more from North Carolina

so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.

Fav 445 115818 11196
share tweet
(781): View more from Massachusetts

I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed

Fav 127 131154 3913
share tweet
(407): View more from Florida

i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...

Fav 534 137220 6911
share tweet
(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section

Fav 1642 173851 44315
share tweet
(774): View more from Massachusetts

i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...

Fav 509 178645 8182
share tweet
(703): View more from Virginia

My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???

Fav 3 1151 593
share tweet
(202): View more from Washington, DC

As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.

Fav 2 1283 506
share tweet
(270): View more from Kentucky

i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.

(618): View more from Illinois

dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.

Fav 2 1957 681
share tweet
(306): View more from Saskatchewan

apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample

Fav 6 1746 669
share tweet
(360): View more from Washington

The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.

Fav 2 636 476
share tweet
(815): View more from Illinois

I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.

Fav 1 488 824
share tweet
(815): View more from Illinois

I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.

(217): View more from Illinois

But your showmanship is impeccable.

Fav 1 939 584
share tweet
(859): View more from Kentucky

Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.

Fav 6 1144 606
share tweet
(414): View more from Wisconsin

Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"

Fav 5 1085 536
share tweet
(+61): View more from Australia

I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?

Fav 1 775 628
share tweet
(815): View more from Illinois

OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!

Fav 7 539 1197
share tweet
(919): View more from North Carolina

As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.

Fav 0 845 501
share tweet
(706): View more from Georgia

Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.

Fav 0 699 453
share tweet
(630): View more from Illinois

Sex is always the answer.

(630): View more from Illinois

Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?

Fav 1 821 589
share tweet
(905): View more from Ontario

I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency

Fav 2 580 1189
share tweet
(+61): View more from Australia

A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM

Fav 2 946 574
share tweet
(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.

Fav 3 960 517
share tweet
(774): View more from Massachusetts

Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage

Fav 2 819 519
share tweet
(915): View more from Texas

Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.

Fav 6 832 586
share tweet
(913): View more from Kansas

The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"

Fav 1 1122 544
share tweet
(214): View more from Texas

White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.

Fav 6 944 528
share tweet
(919): View more from North Carolina

It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.

Fav 7 896 438
share tweet
(202): View more from Washington, DC

My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.

Fav 9 1471 503
share tweet
(850): View more from Florida

I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.

Fav 9 661 792
share tweet
(757): View more from Virginia

And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"

Fav 2 864 539
share tweet
(602): View more from Arizona

A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me

(480): View more from Arizona

its gonna be a great night

Fav 11 1401 619
share tweet
(214): View more from Texas

L'Shannah Tovah!

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Whats that? My new stripper name?

Fav 3 839 547
share tweet
(508): View more from Massachusetts

We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?

Fav 2 525 666
share tweet
(214): View more from Texas

Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder

Fav 1 441 663
share tweet
(802): View more from Vermont

I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty

Fav 3 981 506
share tweet
(818): View more from California

You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.

(1-818): View more from California

Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.

Fav 2 1002 620
share tweet
(413): View more from Massachusetts

There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes

Fav 0 792 460
share tweet
(352): View more from Florida

So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!

Fav 0 774 461
share tweet