Texts From Last Night · meg007's Favorites

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meg007's Favorites Texts:

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(914): View more from New York

Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo

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(585): View more from New York

You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.

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(303): View more from Colorado

So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"

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(206): View more from Washington

In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.

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(631): View more from New York

Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.

(508): View more from Massachusetts

I believe they call that patchouli.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.

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(406): View more from Montana

I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."

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