Texts From Last Night · puppy's Favorites

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puppy's Favorites Texts:

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(214): View more from Texas

Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.

Fav 179 88548 4082
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(406): View more from Montana

I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.

(1-406): View more from Montana

You're so romantic.

Fav 2 1320 665
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(519): View more from Ontario

I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots

Fav 17 2353 821
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(337): View more from Louisiana

Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.

Fav 7 1657 1130
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(607): View more from New York

Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.

(426): View more from

So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.

Fav 12 3493 883
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(651): View more from Minnesota

I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.

Fav 9 2825 935
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?

Fav 5 2817 919
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(815): View more from Illinois

Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.

Fav 3 2151 865
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