Texts From Last Night · sonsallas's Favorites

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(514): View more from Quebec

all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something

(1-514): View more from Quebec

how did you graduate high school

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(907): View more from Alaska

So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"

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(320): View more from Minnesota

I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.

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(520): View more from Arizona

They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.

(520): View more from Arizona

Judging by this purple one they got to second base.

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