Texts From Last Night · swampcat2012's Favorites

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swampcat2012's Favorites Texts:

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(330): View more from Ohio

I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.

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(573): View more from Missouri

and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.

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(305): View more from Florida

I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.

(954): View more from Florida

It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"

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(254): View more from Texas

Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?

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(916): View more from California

the gays at disneyland are vicious

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