Texts From Last Night · Kyuzo's Favorites

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Kyuzo's Favorites Texts:

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.

Fav 10 3988 1463
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(916): View more from California

I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay

Fav 13 1314 2471
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(210): View more from Texas

im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!

Fav 36 1567 2351
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.

Fav 4 1581 1524
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?

Fav 5 2012 861
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(205): View more from Alabama

I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.

Fav 24 4548 1299
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(310): View more from California

Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.

Fav 20 8022 1076
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(219): View more from Indiana

Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.

Fav 36 22413 3678
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