Texts From Last Night · bodaciouswiley's Favorites

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bodaciouswiley's Favorites Texts:

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(423): View more from Tennessee

take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.

Fav 20 2573 1311
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(503): View more from Oregon

he broke up with me so i peed in his bed

Fav 15 3084 1292
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(828): View more from North Carolina

i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches

Fav 4 2292 946
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(773): View more from Illinois

I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days

Fav 9 3009 1291
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(615): View more from Tennessee

Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.

Fav 22 4455 2178
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(731): View more from Tennessee

Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.

Fav 6 2767 1239
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(210): View more from Texas

I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too

Fav 10 7783 1218
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(714): View more from California

I need hand sanitizer and jesus.

Fav 15 2290 2987
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