Texts From Last Night · gerbeezooe's Favorites

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(970): View more from Colorado

Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.

(970): View more from Colorado

Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..

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(443): View more from Maryland

her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"

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(949): View more from California

I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..

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