Texts From Last Night · greenbumho's Favorites

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greenbumho's Favorites Texts:

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(415): View more from California

the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication

Fav 16 9586 1521
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(339): View more from Massachusetts

i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet

Fav 29 10366 2006
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(559): View more from California

So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?

(1-559): View more from California

That depends on who this is.

Fav 42 15246 2557
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(850): View more from Florida

We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.

Fav 18 8586 1682
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(802): View more from Vermont

I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.

Fav 10 5252 1291
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(540): View more from Virginia

Are you pooping in the stall next to me?

(404): View more from Georgia

Maybe....

(540): View more from Virginia

Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.

Fav 82 4783 5545
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(757): View more from Virginia

Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.

Fav 56 1744 7158
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(651): View more from Minnesota

Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.

Fav 12 1198 4515
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