Texts From Last Night · CrookedPitch's Favorites

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry TheCarmelCrow hasn't picked any favorites yet.

CrookedPitch's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

ADVERTISEMENT

(505): View more from New Mexico

So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?

Fav 15 1149 720
share tweet
(310): View more from California

What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.

Fav 5 2605 854
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(410): View more from Maryland

We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.

Fav 26 4780 1012
share tweet
(620): View more from Kansas

Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.

Fav 7 1867 944
share tweet
(607): View more from New York

Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.

(426): View more from

So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.

Fav 12 3496 884
share tweet
(337): View more from Louisiana

Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?

(913): View more from Kansas

I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.

Fav 17 2729 1051
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(469): View more from Texas

Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...

Fav 7 2963 993
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(206): View more from Washington

What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?

(425): View more from Washington

Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.

Fav 11 5006 1140
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT